Anger – Asperger’s Girl Anja Melissa Explains

This is yet another article on this subject that I feel a whole-hearted resonance with – I have experienced everything said here myself.

 

I don’t talk about my anger issues any more. They are behind me now and I don’t like to dwell on negative things in the past. When I was younger I was much more explosive and even exper…

Source: Anger – Asperger’s Girl Anja Melissa Explains

Blocked

Today I am suffering the agony of writer’s block – not with regard to my books, I’m in editing mode on Where There’s A Will and it’s going really well, and I’m pretty sure if I were to sit down with one of my many book ideas I would have no problem there. No, I’m suffering writer’s block when it comes to this blog; most of what I have posted so far have been reviews of one sort or another, with some random stuff which might give you all a few details about me – namely that I suffer from mental health issues and the approach of winter is giving me a bit of a kicking.

I wanted to write something a little more upbeat, something perhaps, dare I even suggest it, a little fun; I even considered writing a bit about myself so you could all get to know the other side of me, beyond the writing and the mental health issues. My good intentions, however, are not going so, well, good; I have so far started and deleted 3 posts because I couldn’t think where to go with them, and now I’m not sure what direction to take.

I’m not really comfortable with talking about myself, but I’ve heard that one of the best ways to connect with potential readers, and this is the main reason I set up this blog, is to let them get to know you, both as an author and as a person, so here goes.

Alex R Carver is not my real name; I have decided, for several reasons, one of them being the issues I have as a sufferer of autism/aspergers and other mental health problems, that I don’t wish to publish under my own name, so I picked a name I was comfortable with and which, although no outlandish, might stand out a little.

Despite ‘hiding’ behind a pen name, I think first and foremost I should reassure you all that whatever I reveal of myself on this blog, it is the real me.

Now, onto me, who I am and what I like; this is likely to be more of a list of qualities and interests than anything else right now, but I intend expanding on what I tell of you of myself as time passes by. From time to time I will put up posts that reveal more about me, and which touch on my interests, you can also check out my social media – such as it is, I’m not really one for social media – to find out a little more about me.

A few facts:

I’m almost 40 (a lot closer to it than I’m comfortable with)

I have brown hair

I generally have stubble, because I’m lazy about shaving

I’m little under average height, and a little (perhaps more than a little) overweight

Reading is one of my biggest pleasures, I cannot begin to guess at how many books I’ve read in my life, but there are still many more for me to go through, and I hope to get to them before I’m done.

Outside of reading, I enjoy TV and movies, and I usually have something playing in the background while I work – work being writing; I have been writing since the age of ten, when I was given an assignment in an English class to write a story, the story I came up with, which was significantly longer than those written by my fellow students, was a Famous Five style adventure that I wish I still had.

Currently I am unemployed, I don’t see that as a problem, though, because it gives me all the time in the world to follow my dream of becoming a full-time, self-employed, successful writer. My first novel, Where There’s A Will is scheduled for release in January, and I am on track to meet that target, with 5 more books already written in the Inspector Stone series (they’re currently on paper) and several other books also awaiting release, which should happen at the rate of 1 book every 4-6 months.

 

Anyway, I think that’s enough about me for now. My social media accounts, if you’d like to know more about me, are here

Twitter

Pinterest

 

Winter isn’t coming, it’s here

Okay, as many of you will realise from my title, I’m a fan of Game of Thrones, I like both the books and the tv series, though with every season they become more and more separate. This post isn’t really about either, however, so sorry to those who have found there way here because of the GoT connection in the title.

I’m writing today about actual winter, that horrible thing that happens at this time of the year when the sun disappears, the clouds gather, it rains, the temperature drops horrendously and the rain changes to snow.

During this time moods drop and motivation can be hard to come by, just getting out of bed can be incredibly difficult, and you (or at least I) want to eat constantly. As a sufferer of mental health problems, this period of the year is even tougher for me to get through, and I don’t even have the advantage of a regular job, with a boss breathing down my neck, to encourage me to get up and do things.

I am currently unemployed, officially at least, while  I work on establishing myself as a published and successful writer. That means I have to get myself up and at the computer if I want to get anything done and make any progress, which is far from easy.

We’re currently in the early stages of winter here in the UK, and I am already going through copious amounts of coffee every day, along with lots of chocolate and other unhealthy snacks, in an effort to give me the energy to work. I also have to hug a hot water bottle to get warm enough to do anything – I’m really not looking forward to the arrival of full winter.

 

Bristol in the Snow

Commuters make their way over Brunel’s suspension bridge in Clifton, Bristol following a night of heavy snow across the UK. Up to 15cm of snow has fallen overnight causing widespread traffic disruption and school closures. 18 January 2013

I’m curious, and would really appreciate some answers in the comments, what do you all do, especially the indie writers and self-employed people among my readers, to motivate yourselves and make sure you keep working and get things done?

World Mental Health Awareness – I Don’t Want Awareness (I Want Acceptance)

I have to agree with this, I don’t want to have to explain myself to people, I want them to understand what my condition is, why I am the way I am, and to give some consideration to the difficulties I have dealing with social situations.

Anonymously Autistic

I have written my entire blog around the theme of being “Anonymous” because many Autistic people are invisible, unseen and anonymous in the world. Autism is an “invisible disability” meaning you can’t tell someone is Autistic unless you ask them (or know Autism VERY well and are paying close attention).

People have awareness of Autism – they know exists, they know that Autism is a popular conversation, and it’s prevalence seems to be increasing. In 2014 it was estimated that 1 in 68 children (1 in 42 boys and 1 in 189 girls) are diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).

People know that Autistic children can have trouble in school and may be prone to meltdowns, but they don’t understand what causes a meltdown. Being aware that Autism exists and having acceptance of Autistic people are two very different things.

Today is World Mental Health Awareness day – but today I am NOT…

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Why?

Sometimes I wonder why I’ve chosen writing as a career. Okay, so I haven’t exactly ‘chosen’ it, I’ve been writing for most of my life, I believe I’m better than average at it, and I have been out of work for a while so it seems sensible to try and make a living out of a hobby that does have a potential income attached to it.

Days like today, though, make me wonder if I’m really cut out for it. I had a writing career previously under another name, it was only a hobbyist kind of thing then, and circumstances forced me to give it up, but before they did I was starting to do well enough that I was making enough money to believe I could do it full time.

Now I am back at the beginning, trying to get my books ready for release, and trying to promote the novella I have already released. My novella is free on Kindle today and tomorrow to try and generate some interest and I have been looking around for places to promote and let people know about my freebie; one of the places I visited is the Amazon discussion boards, where I made one post before getting discouraged and deciding not to bother.

The rules of the discussion boards have changed since I was last there, several years ago, and apparently you are no longer allowed to promote your own books there, as was pointed out to me almost straight away – that’s fine, I can live with that, I wasn’t aware of it but am now; my problem is that the person who pointed it out to me spotted one typo in my post, which was written quickly, and immediately declared that if my post is anything to go by my book must be unreadable.

I don’t mind that I was told what I posted was against the rules, I don’t mind either that my spelling mistake was pointed out to me, what I mind is the pretty rude way my book is declared bad – without it even being looked at – on the basis of 1 post on a forum. This has reminded me of why I didn’t much like the amazon discussion boards when I was using them before, there’s a lot of rude people on there, people who feel they can be insulting just because they can; as I remember, the behaviour tripped over into trolling on a few occasions, which gets to me.

This kind of thing does nothing to help me with my issues surrounding socialising and interacting with people; I’m already struggling with them. I don’t do well at dealing with people, and encountering rude or inconsiderate people makes me want to withdraw and avoid the entire social media world, whichever corner of it I might be trying.

My first full-length novel is due out in January, and I know I’m going to have to work something out before then. Right now I’m thinking I will be doing very little with social media, it’s just not me, and sticking with paid advertising, at least until I can afford to hire someone to handle the social media stuff for me.

If anyone has good suggestions on how to handle this stuff without making my brain go into meltdown and giving me panic attacks that send me running for the hills, I’d really appreciate it.

Aspie Sean Week 6: “Aspie’s & Sensory Issues”.

I can so relate to this. If I could hide from the world, I would.

Anonymously Autistic

Sensory overload and sensory problems can be one of the most disabling aspects of being an Aspie. For me avoiding social situations is necessary for survival. Being constantly overloaded is stressful and bad for our health.

Apparently I am not the only person who can not handle a crowded restaurant, club, or other loud busy venue. If I force myself into these situations I can sometimes survive them but by the time I get home I implode into myself.

If I get overloaded it can take me hours to decompress. I have to remove myself from all sensory input and people the frustrating thing is it takes me a long time to recover once I’ve been overloaded and once I have one overload more overloads become more likely.

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Mega stressed!

stress-management1

I just knew today was going to be a bad day when I had to get up early for an appointment I didn’t want to go to and found the weather overcast and rubbish. I followed that up by burning my pop-tarts and having to endure a series of very personal questions at my appointment that brought up some unpleasant childhood memories (not that I remember much of my childhood, I’ve blocked most of it out).

The result of that was that I felt an incredibly craving for sugar, so I stopped off at Tesco and bought this

20160927_111730.jpg

I had calmed down a little by the time I got home and was thinking that I should have shown some restraint, and that my waistline will not thank me for all this rubbish I now have to eat. That reduction in my stress and generally low mood didn’t last long, however, for in the post I received a letter from the job centre, with a form to fill out explaining why they should give me the sickness benefit they’ve already said they are giving me; why I need to fill out this form when they already have a letter from my doctor explaining why I’m not fit for work, I don’t know.

Immediately my stress levels went back up, and proceeded to climb steadily higher as I went through the form and had to provide the same answer again and again to different, but basically the same, question. By the end of it I felt as though my head was going to explode and I was ready to shout at anyone or anything, including the dog, that came near me; I am also now ready to eat everything I bought in one sitting and damn my waistline.